Tara, A very good telling of your story. You really put the time in to structure it too. A few spelling errors that could be tidied with a 10 minute read thru. I would be careful to visually differentiate between the two women (even though they may be the same person). The first transition into the cave is also a little blunt. Could it emerge through the steam in his bathroom - a visual trick to ease us into another place? We can speak more about it in class. Barrie.
Tara, A very good telling of your story. You really put the time in to structure it too. A few spelling errors that could be tidied with a 10 minute read thru. I would be careful to visually differentiate between the two women (even though they may be the same person). The first transition into the cave is also a little blunt. Could it emerge through the steam in his bathroom - a visual trick to ease us into another place?
ReplyDeleteWe can speak more about it in class. Barrie.